♥ 2 ♥: Mothers, Your Kids Need HELP (for the Newtown Kids)

Ok. 

The Newtown Massacre of 20 children a few days ago is still fresh in all our minds and on our hearts.  There is not one mother, not one parent, whose heart does not break, or even who does not even shed a tear, over this horrendous tragedy.

After getting over the shock of the murders, my mind went immediately to the parents of Adam Lanza.  The mother, in particular.  I empathized with her because she was a single mother of a mentally ill kid.  Even though she had money, resources, Adam's father was involved with him...and I myself have none of those resources available to me...and I myself know the struggle of raising troubled kids.

To protect the privacy of my children, all I will share is that at one point in their lives, my children had to deal with some form of mental illness, even a learning disability.  I have not had the opportunity to have a father who was actively involved in my kids' lives, neither have I had the support and resources that Nancy had.  

According to the following article, Nancy was living off hundreds of thousands of dollars in alimony and child support.  Peter Lanza, Adam's father, is a VP at a major corporation.  This family had all the money in the WORLD...enough money to get Adam the help he obviously so desperately needed.  

"Nancy Lanza Feared Son..."

"Adam Lanza Was A Deeply Disturbed Kid..."

Yet with all our limitations, none of my kids has gone out here and murdered 20 kids.  My kids have adjusted well and/or dealing with their issues, by the grace and power of God.  I can admit, some of my ways of dealing with the issues has seemed tough...an act of tough love.  But I did what GOD instructed me to do, and it is working well for us.

I guess the point of my blog today is to question some parents about the choices they make, in particular, as it pertains to their kids.  

Ok.  

When I look at this picture, I see a troubled kid.  If my son went to school with this kid, I would instruct my son to steer clear of this young man.  Look at his affect:  he is looking down, unable to look in the eyes, disconnected.  That's the perception I get JUST from looking at this picture!

Now, I understand.  As a mom, we all want to think that our kids are angels, even if they are, in actuality, demons.  We fall in love with our kids the moment they are birthed into the earth.  The moment the doctor places the bundle of joy on our breasts after we have pushed them out our wombs, we fall in love with this seemingly perfect little angel.  

Our hearts melt and from that moment on, there is absolutely NOTHING we wouldn't do for our kids!

And I guess, that is normal.  We are supposed to love our children.  That maternal instinct to nurture and take care of our young is supposed to kick in at the moment of birth.  

But when that romanticizing of our kids last until they are adults, so much so that we can't see the forest from the trees, til we are in straight up denial about our kids when issues (may) come up.

This past summer, I met a really nice lady who generously offered us a ride to a (christian) overnight camp facility here on the East Coast.  We were given each other's contact information and coordinated the whole ride thing through the camp director.  

On the ride to the camp, I began to discover that the lady's 12 year old son was, well, a little off.  He sat near my son in the mini van and he just couldn't keep his hands to himself, he was always touching in my son's face, and he just couldn't respect my son's boundaries.  After awhile, my son tells me 'Mom!' to get my attention and that's when I looked in the back seat and saw what was going on.  My first instinct, of course, was to just tell the little boy to STOP, but I was riding in THEIR car, so I had to be really tactful.

The mother saw the very annoyed look I had on my face and began to explain to me that her adopted son had a form of autism and apologized.  She began to say how wonderful a kid he was and that, despite his obvious behavioral problems, he was a really sweet kid that meant no harm.  She told me of the difficulties she had with him, since birth.  How he couldn't function at school.  How he got on everybody's nerves, even kids his own age.  

She confided in me of the moment she got him at the hospital as a baby.  She teared up talking about.  It was obvious this white woman who so graciously allowed us to ride with her LOVED this little biracial adopted son of hers.  

When we arrived at the camp, I began to notice as I was checking my son in that this little boy indeed got on everybody's nerves!  Slapping peoples' heads, running, trying to tackle all the fellow campers he hadn't seen since the previous summer, laughing loudly and uncontrollably....

I felt really bad for this mother and father.  They had done all they can to provide this child who had no parents with a loving, safe home.  A decent life.  But he was a HANDFUL!  

When I picked up my son from camp the following week, my son began to share with me JUST how annoying this young boy was.  He told me countless stories of how this young boy got on everyone's nerves, how even the camp staffers at some point seemed overwhelmed with trying to give this obviously challenged young boy the attention he so craved.  

Now, I don't mean to sound like I'm discriminating against kids with autism or disabilities.  I qualified this whole thing by sharing my own struggles as a single mom of challenged kids.  BUT I also have a testimony (God is still working it out, btw) of GOD working it all out....

BUT...in order for God to begin to work it out, to help with these kids, I had to SNAP out of it.  Come to the realization that HEY, there IS a problem.  Then I had to ask GOD to give me WISDOM on how to deal with the problem.  I did not have the luxury (the money, the support, the resources, etc) to be in denial or to romanticize about my kids.  I had to face it HEAD ON, see the whole thing for exactly what it is.

AND I had to practice precautionary and safety measures, at some point.  (There's that wisdom thing kicking in again!)

With that being said, I have to raise my eyebrow at Nancy Lanza.  

The article above gives us insight onto what type of woman Nancy was.  

First, this single mother who had all money could buy frequented bars.  She was an avid gun collector....and not only that, she brought her YOUNG SON to the firing range to teach him how to fire arms!!!!

NOW....

THAT WAS NOT WISDOM!

WHY would a mother ever place a gun in the hands of a mentally disturbed child?  WHY would she go as far as to teach him how to fire a weapon????  

I just keep picturing that little boy who went to camp this past summer with my son with a gun.  NOT a pretty picture!

Im a sharpshooter myself, but would NEVER teach a child to fire a weapon, ESPECIALLY a child with head issues.  

Look at that picture of Adam again.  

Does he LOOK LIKE a kid who should have EVER had access to weapons in the first place????????????????

I can tell you what happened:

There are some mothers who are SO in love with their kids that they cannot see the forest from the trees regarding their kids.

When they see their 20 year old disturbed son, all they see is the precious little baby boy they brought home from the hospital...NOT the mentally challenged, disturbed, somewhat dimented young man that stands before them!

And Nancy was seriously deluded.

She was a teacher, so I take it she was smart.  She could have plugged into resources for her son, if need be.  Some of those resources may have involved institutionalizing Adam, imprisoning him, locking him away, so he could have gotten the help he needed.

He couldn't feel pain????????  What the??????

I know that there is this trend thats taken place in the past 20 years or so, where society has wanted to assimilate the mentally ill into mainstream society with the general public.  Forbidding opportunities at housing, employment, education, etc. to those who are mentally challenged in most of the country is now prohibited by the ADA (Americans with Disabilities Act).

And while I think that is a wonderful idea for those who are JUST disabled PHYSICALLY, I DO think that whole thing needs to be rethought as it pertains to those who are MENTALLY challenged.

Why?

Well, because, as we have noticed for this past year especially, there has been a STARK increase in the amounts of murders by people who were mentally ill to some capacity.  And since this country has done a really poor job of researching and treating mental illness, we SHOULD NOT grant total rights and privileges to those who we even SUSPECT are mentally challenged, because we don't know to what extent their mental illness lies.

In other words, there is a broad spectrum to the mental illness triangle.  Some are slightly mentally ill, while others are psychopaths and sociopaths, a danger to themselves AND to others around them.

Mental illness transcends race, culture, class, OR religion.  NO one is immune from it.  There ARE no vaccinations from getting mentally ill.  Some are born with a proclivity and a vulnerability towards developing mental illness, while others develop mental illness later on in life, due to life challenges they face along the way.  And a lack of effective coping mechanisms to deal with life.

Mothers, we know our kids better than ANYONE ELSE.  Better than teachers, better than social workers, better than the police or the judge.  EVEN better than their peers and friends or associates.

WE NEED TO WAKE UP and TAKE OUR HEADS OUT OF THE SAND!

IF YOU HAVE A CHILD WHO IS MENTALLY CHALLENGED, DO NOT BE ASHAMED.  DO NOT HIDE YOUR HEAD IN THE SAND.  DO NOT PROJECT THAT CHILDS' ISSUES AND BLAME THE EDUCATION SYSTEM, OR PEERS, OR ANYONE ELSE.

SIMPLY GET HELP FOR YOUR BABIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If it involves calling child protective services YOURSELF to get help, GET HELP.

If it involves calling the police and getting them into the system (because, unfortunately, that is the only way many are going to be treated is if they FIRST get into 'the system), THEN GET HELP.

If it involves locking your child up because he is a danger to himself, to you or to others, yes, you love your child, but you love your child ENOUGH to lock him up so he can get the HELP HE/SHE NEEDS!

If you have a mentally challenged child, your life is no longer your own.  You don't have the luxury of being a gun collector, or smoking weed to cope, or drinking the problem away.  YOUR CHILD NEEDS YOUR HELP!!!!

You cannot worry about what the Joneses are going to say.  Im sure Nancy was worried about what the Joneses up there in Newtown would say....and now she, Adam and 26 more people are gone because she would not REACH OUT and GET HELP!

I'm not writing this to hurt anyone, or put anyone down.  I am writing this as a mother.  A mother who has children herself, who understands, and who is TIRED of seeing the carnage!

We as a society can no longer turn the other way and pretend like we don't see what we DO SEE.

NOW.........DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Confessions of An (Almost) First Lady

I write this to reach out to women who have been bamboozled, hoodwinked, tricked into a set up by the enemy.  You have been lied to, made to believe that your 'assignment' by GOD is to do the 'work of God' by the 'man of God's' side.  You have felt 'a pull, a connection, a link to the man of God and you have believed it was God that told you you would be the first lady of your church.

I know from experience that this delusion and deception is rampant in what is known as the body of Christ.  I also can attest to the FACT that for women, this phenomena is GREAT.

In order to understand what goes on in the mind of a woman who is under this deception or delusion, you have to understand the CULTURE, the ENVIRONMENT, that she is raised in.

MOST of these women are raised up in church.  In VERY religious settings.  All or most of the families are preachers, so it is EXPECTED for the little girls to grow up and marry a preacher.

These little girls are groomed almost from birth by mothers, aunts and grandmothers-not to mention by proud dads, granddads and uncles-to be a first lady.  Most of these religious settings do NOT accept that a woman can be called to preach and teach the gospel (as well as I know that some of you don't believe it either).

So because the women are 'sat down' and 'silenced' in these religious settings, the next best thing for them to be are first ladies.  Their church will accept that.  Their families will accept that.  But absolutely under NO circumstances can a woman EVER be called to preach. Or let alone pastor!

It is 'her place' to be in the first lady's seat, dressed to kill, loved, adored and sometimes even worshiped by the congregation.

It is in her role as the 'first lady' that it is acceptable for her to teach or preach, but then only to the females of the church.  She would serve as a spiritual 'mother' of the church, a role model for all the ladies to follow.

She is called to stand by the man of God's side, no matter WHAT goes on behind closed doors.  He can preach the house down behind the pulpit, be gay or on the DL, be a FLAGRANT adulterer, a pedophile, stealing from the people, he can be beating the living daylights out of her and the kids, ruling his house with an iron fist....

But as long as the 'man of God' is happy, preaching the folks happy, putting on a good show, making the people feel good about themselves, then all is good.  The money will start rolling in, and pretty soon pastor can get 'first lady' ANYTHING her heart desires!  No longer a fledging, struggling ministry, the church will finance and take care of ANY venture the first family presents.  They are guaranteed a home, a car, nice clothes, a pension, vacations...the kids will be able to go to private schools.

Even if the first lady KNOWS that what's going on financially behind the scenes is wrong, she won't divulge.  She will play along, sometimes out of fear of being harmed by the pastor, or out of fear of being the broke, disgusted and busted ministry team and family they were when they first started out in ministry.

Sometimes the 'first lady' really is unaware of what's REALLY going on, in her marriage, in the ministry, in her family.  She has been literally brainwashed and whipped by the man of God so that she cannot see the forest from the trees.  She got her head up so far in the clouds she couldn't see what was going on down here on earth if she plunged 1000s of miles deep within its core...poor deceived woman!

Whatever her mindset, the woman plays along with a fantasy, sometimes for YEARS.  She plays this religious game of 'I feel like something is wrong, but Im not gonna do anything about it' or 'That is just the enemy trying to break up our marriage and the ministry..'  Both straight up LIES from the DEVIL that he convinces her of so that she will continue to play along in HIS plot-and NOT God's plan-to deceive a whole flock of people.  And thus further negatively affect the REAL church, the Ekklesia.

In the church setting, WOMEN ARE TAUGHT TO GO ALONG WITH THE PROGRAM.  There are only TWO domestic violence shelters in the whole Orleans parish, and yet there is even MORE domestic violence in New Orleans POST-KATRINA.  And I know that a LOT of it is going on IN CHURCHES.  AND in leadership.

The most famous first family of New Orleans doesn't even live together!

Now Pastor Deborah Morton and her husband, Bishop Paul S. Morton of the Full Gospel Fellowship live in two different states.  She pastors Greater St Stephen in New Orleans while he pastors Changing A Generation outside of Atlanta.

Yet they put on the show that all is well and they are the happy ministry couple.

And being from New Orleans, I can tell you.  It is the goal of EVERY ministry in the Greater New Orleans area to be JUST LIKE a certain 'undisclosed' ministry couple whose headquarters was relocated to Georgia back in 2005.  This obsession and envy-if you will-stems back decades ago when this man first became pastor of this popular church in N.O. in the 70s.  I was all of 9 years old and I remember my dad specifically telling me how much this church was taking all of the members from my uncles' churches.  I also remember a scandal (that NO ONE can find ANY shred of data on, btw) that in the 70s or the 80s, the pastor was allegedly shot by his first lady in the buttocks because he had been cheating on her....allegedly with another man!

Today, you can't find any record of that incident.  No arrest report.  No hospital records.  Is it true?  I don't know.  I wouldn't be surprised if it was.

It is how things go in the religious world of becoming a first lady.

I write this to wake up my sisters.

Listen, Ladies....

Just because you were raised a certain way does NOT mean you have to live out the remainder of your days fulfilling the plans of OTHERS for YOUR life.  GOD HAS A PLAN FOR YOUR LIFE!

And please understand.  It may include a husband.  Or it may NOT.

Either way.  God had YOU in mind when HE created YOU.

You remember going to school, and having done homework, only to find out you did the WRONG HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT???????

You were MAD, weren't you?

All that work, all that time, all that intelligence expended....and for what?

To finish a work, or start a work, or DO work...and realize that that was NOT what you were supposed to be doing!

And many times, the teacher didn't EVEN give you credit for doing the wrong assignment!

LISTEN.

God is like that teacher.

He is not going to give you 'credit' for doing a 'good' thing.  No matter HOW hard you worked.  No matter HOW faithful you were.  NO matter HOW pure in heart you were.  No matter WHO gets saved, who or claims salvation and deliverance, at your church.  No matter HOW many spiritual children you believed you 'birthed.'

When you stand before God, He is going to say HE DON"T KNOW YOU!

WHY?

BECAUSE YOU DIDNT DO WHAT HE SAID TO DO.  BECAUSE OF YOUR DISOBEDIENCE.

I can look back at when I almost became a first lady.  It seemed like such a great idea, at the time.  I was SO psyched!  I mean, I get to work side by side with the man of God, someone who I believed was honest and sincere about the work of God, who I believed really wanted to see souls saved and delivered.  For the first time in my life, a majority of the people LIKED me, were concerned abut me.  I got help for my kids and I (which was great, b/c I was a single mother up to that point).

All of a sudden, I was undergoing makeovers.  I was told that a first lady-to-be was to dress this way, wear tons of makeup, do the hats thing, wear spikes and 'tear the house down' every Sunday.  It was not AT ALL what I thought it would be, being in the 'inner circle,' being up close and personal with the pastor.

Who I thought was a man of God turned out to be on the DL.  I was HORRIFIED.

But then after I found out what I knew, it was expected of me to keep silent, to still go along with the wedding.  To still undergo the 'grooming process' of becoming a first lady.  MUCH like what Esther went through to prepare to be the queen.  As a matter of fact, that passage of scripture was used (as well as the scripture about Hannah and Samuel and Peninah) OUT OF CONTEXT to try and give me biblical reference and support for this grooming process for the great cover-up.  That was supposed to give me reason to believe that I was still the 'first lady' and should marry a gay man, a diseased gay man, to boot.

But no matter how much they tried to buy me off, no matter how much they tried to groom me, make me over, like some church Barbie doll, no matter how much scripture they threw at me, no matter how many false prophetesses and prophets tried to prophelie to me that this was all the plan of God, no matter how much even the co pastor (who was the pastor's mother, btw) tried to counsel me and tell me that 'we as women go through a lot in marriage...this is just something, your burden, that you have to bear...,' the SPIRIT OF GOD IN ME would not allow me to go through with it.  So I called it off.

The plan of God for YOUR life is NOT to cover for your wicked husband.  Yes, that's what I called him....WICKED.  Men of God don't beat their wives and kids into submission.  Men of God don't have sex with children or other men.  Men of God don't go to hookers or are strung out on drugs-prescription or illegal.  Men of God don't steal from or fleece the sheep....even if its under the guise that he is just trying to take care of his family.  T.D. Jakes gets to me, b/c he often 'testifies' about how he had humble ministry beginnings in the hills of West Virginia.  How he couldn't pay his bills and how his family struggled.  So he 'loaded up the truck and he head for Beverly...'  no, I mean Dallas.

And we all know how the story goes from there.

Now Jakes makes SURE that he nor his family will EVER struggle again.  HOW?  By making sure you will continue to buy his books, go see his sorry movies, and frequent his conferences....ALL that keep you as victims, victims that NEED HIS ministry to be 'loosed' or set free.

Let me tell you something, Ladies.

NO matter what the reason is WHY you choose to go along with the foolishness, GOD KNOWS.  I implore you to get it together and GET OUT.  And STAY OUT of the churchanity thing.  Because women who have been raised in that, and have left, are more prone to go back to what they know or what they are familiar with.

You do NOT have to be a first lady to be in the plan of God.  God NEVER ordained that mess in the first place!

The ONLY first lady was EVE.

I pray you hear what is being said to you...

God Bless You!

The Anus Is NOT A Sexual Organ!

Ok, I know I am opening up a can of worms-one that has invariably been opened up in the past.


Sexual relations within the confines of MARRIAGE within the religious system has been debated for years. Anal sex (and oral) has been debated many times over.


I have stated my very strong views on this matter before (not recently)...and have had so-called 'christians' argue with me that I needed to lighten up. That they will do whatever their husbands desires for them to do in efforts to keep their husbands from 'roaming,' so to speak.


I have said it before. And I will say it again:


THE ANUS IS NOT A SEXUAL ORGAN!!!!!


The Anus is an external part of the DIGESTIVE system. In plain english, it is the part of the body where poop is excreted from the body.


From Wikipedia:


"The human anus (from Latin anūs meaning "ring", "circle") is the external opening of the rectum. Like other animals, its closure is controlled bysphincter muscles. Feces are expelled from the body through the anus during the act of defecation, the primary function of the anus." (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_anus)

Now...


I looked up what a doctor from Western Washington University had to say about anal sex. I found it very interesting:


"...it(anal sex) is medically risky behavior nevertheless, even if condoms are used as a barrier for STDs. The anal sphincter muscle is not anatomically designed to comfortably admit external objects--it is designed to relax and stretch when stimulated internally by rectal fullness from stool. The automatic reflex is for it to contract and tighten when pressure is applied externally. So relaxation of the sphincter for external penetration is learned over time because otherwise it is very uncomfortable, and must only be done with gentle continual pressure, and lots and lots of lubricant. The risks, even with gentle insertion, are laceration of the anal tissue, and rectal mucosa, resulting in pain, bleeding, and difficulty passing stool comfortably.


Any presence of blood can potentially expose the insertive partner to bloodborne STDs like Hep. B, Hep. C, and HIV. In addition, exposure to stool can result in urethral infections in a male insertive partner.


The receptive partner is at more risk for contracting STDs if there is trauma (even microscopic) to the anus or rectum due to the potential presence of virus in semen, if ejaculation takes place in the rectum. Human papilloma virus also is likely to be spread anally due to this trauma to the anal and rectal tissue, and some of the most difficult persistent HPV infections we see are chronic anal warts, both external and internal to the anal sphincter and they are exceptionally difficult to treat, often requiring surgery to remove.


Aside from the traumatic and infectious risks, there is the risk of sphincter tone (tightness) loss over time due to repeated dilation for insertive intercourse. Many receptive partners experience stool incontinence (leaking of stool or poor control) when they have anal sphincter tone decrease. This, needless to say, is very bothersome and uncomfortable and has to be surgically corrected if it becomes chronic.


Lastly, there is increased risk of spreading gastrointestinal pathogens through anal contact--whether it is bacterial infections like salmonella or E. Coli, or parasitic infections like Giardia." (http://www.wwu.edu/chw/ask_the_doc/post/1-1000/0599.html)

Now, the Word of God does not speak directly to the issue of anal sex. But we do have at least a couple of biblical references (of which I'm sure you are familiar with):


Romans 1:26-27

That’s why God abandoned them to degrading lust. Their females traded natural sexual relations for unnatural sexual relations. Also, in the same way, the males traded natural sexual relations with females, and burned with lust for each other. Males performed shameful actions with males, and they were paid back with the penalty they deserved for their mistake in their own bodies.


Leviticus 18:21-23


I am the Lord. You must not have sexual intercourse with a man as you would with a woman; it is a detestable practice.... Nor will a woman present herself before an animal to mate with it; it is a perversion.

The Word of God does, however, speak to the issue of how GOD feels about homosexuality. There are people who will argue that because it is not broken down in the Word, it does not expressly say 'thou shalt not commit anal sex,' then all is up in the air and fair game, as long as 'christian' couples can get their swerve on, so to speak.


Look at Romans 1. The Word says that God will give people over to 'degrading lusts.' The King James calls them 'vile affections,' or 'evil, dishonorable, disgraceful, afflicting passions.'


Afflicting?


Isn't that what the doctor said could happen if you have anal sex? You are more prone to get STDs, eColi and other infections? Plainly put, your anus will be so stretched out that you may no longer have control over the anal muscles? So you can have MANY 'accidents'? (if you know what I mean?)


I don't mean to be funny, but I have known young boys who were molested by other men, and later on in life developed problems with holding their bowels. They would literally have accidents. Sometimes, it requires surgical correction, as the doctor explained above.


Besides from the medical complications and risks that does arise from anal sex, I have to say...isn't lovemaking between husband (ONE man) and wife (ONE woman) supposed to show love?


I'm sorry...there is no love in being degraded to participating in an evil, vile, disgraceful, and potentially dangerous and afflicting act....and for what?


Just so you can (possibly) prevent your husband from straying?????


Let me share something with you, ladies:


You can be the freakiest of the freaky for your husband. You can give him any kind of sex he wants. You may cringe at first, and resist. But many women give in to this vile affection....mistakenly believing that if they give in to their husbands' desires that he will stay faithful to them.

YOU ARE WRONG!!!!

If your husband propositions you with anal sex, I can almost guarantee that, one, it was introduced to him at an early age or with another male...or, two, he saw it in a porno flick somewhere.


I'm going to share with you a testimony I heard from an associate pastor of a major church in the Boston area years ago, about a man who NEVER participated in anal or homosexual sex, but had a serious addiction to porn. He watched SOOO much porn that eventually, he began to believe the lie of the enemy that maybe he was gay!

So all of a sudden, a normally heterosexual male minister who grew up in church who watched porn and masturbated uncontrollably started entertaining the idea that he may be gay!


He eventually started having homosexual sex...until God delivered him!


All while 'serving' in christian ministry.

This thing is serious, people.


It cannot be anything and everything goes in the bedroom.


The enemy has introduced all kinds of perversion into the bedroom, and countless numbers of 'believers' are just going at it, no discretion, no boundaries, consulting porn and porn stars, talk show hosts, and inspirational speakers INSTEAD of the Spirit of God regarding their sex lives!


Once someone allows someone else to perform anal (or oral) sex on them (which ARE considered homosexual acts, acts of sodomy), they are allowing themselves to be opened up spiritually to perversions and perverted spirits, vain, evil imaginations.


Your husband says 'Oh, honey, there's no harm in this. Let me just try this this one time. ...'


So you give in and then all of a sudden, you and he both are tormented with lusts...passions...VILE passions...that are never fulfilled. Which is what leads to someone straying outside of the marriage for fulfillment. The very thing you were trying to prevent and lowered your standards to prevent didn't work.


Why?


Lovemaking between spouses is supposed to bring about harmony, trust, it's supposed to be a safe place. No partner is supposed to feel violated, in pain, disgusted, or nauseated.


I, personally speaking, cannot see how that could EVER be the case with anal (or oral) sex.


All those types of sex does is feed an animalistic passion that demands more and more fulfillment. It's like a high. You finish, and you want more....but only more vile and disgusting.


And a high (as many of you recovering drug addicts know) is a thrill you never get over by giving in to it.


Now, I understand that some reading this may have already been exposed to anal (or oral) sex. They may have been molested or raped as a child anally or orally. And have been tormented with 'vile affections' ever since.


I was one of them...


I want you to know that there IS healing and deliverance from vile affections. He did it for me!


But the first part of the healing process comes in pulling back the nasty scab that covers the wound.


YOU need to know that no matter WHO did WHAT to you, or WHEN they did it, THIS IS NOT HOW GOD INTENDED SEX TO BE!!!!!


And you are NOT a slave to your appetites, or vile affections.


I know that the porn industry, some folks in 'church,' the media...seems like EVERYONE would like for you to believe that you are a slave to your passions. That every urge that hits your loins must be given into. Like we are some type of animals who cannot control ourselves.


Isn't one of the fruit of the Spirit is SELF CONTROL?????


When you are born again, GOD will give you self control....but you have to stay submitted to the Spirit of God.


NOT to the spirit of this world!!!!!


So I repeat....THE ANUS IS NOT A SEX ORGAN!!!!


Allow God to teach you HOW to submit your body members to HIM so that you can glorify God...IN YOUR BODY!!!!

What’s In A NAME????

So what exactly IS in a name? In particularly, a GOOD name.


We often hear of people lauding that it is necessary to protect one’s name, especially in the church and in ministry. (Why...just recently, gospel recording artist Marvin Sapp claimed this very same thing in a Facebook posting.) I have heard many a preacher preach and teach Proverbs 22:1 and Ecclesiastes 7:1 totally out of context…


Proverbs 22:1

A GOOD name is rather to be chosen than great riches, and loving favour rather than silver and gold.


Ecclesiastes 7:1

A GOOD name is better than precious ointment; and the day of death than the day of one’s birth.


In both passages of scriptures, it speaks to having a good name (or reputation) in light of one’s record of their entire life, not just a few, good things accomplished in seasons of one’s life.


The Hebrew word for name used in both instances is ‘shem,’ meaning ‘name, reputation, fame.’ It can also mean ‘prosperity.’


Shem was also one of Noah’s son.


The erroneous teaching that has gone forth for years is that one is to protect their name, their reputation, what they are known for, at all costs. In particularly, in ministry.


I have seen preachers literally attempt to kill…all to protect their name, to keep up the image of being a man of woman of God before the people.


I have heard of preachers buying off people to protect their name/reputation.


I have heard of preachers and church folks do all kinds of dastardly, wicked, sneaky, under-the-table tricks…all under the guise of protecting their name. For making sure that their reputation is kept in tact.


I see it as an image type of thing going on.


And keeping up an image of prosperity, of success, of godliness, of holiness, of power, or whatever…at all costs…even sinning to keep up the good name, is synonymous (or just like) marketing.


Anyone who has ever worked in marketing knows, image is everything!


If your image or reputation is tarnished, then you are ruined!


So now we have preachers and church folks who hire marketers to market themselves, their ministries, their products/services, their churches, their fellowships, etc.


It is no accident that the most famous preacher in the U.S. (maybe even the world), is a megapreacher who is considered to be a brilliant marketer of his businesses.


And many preachers emulate and try to be just like him.


But I ask…WHAT’S IN A NAME?????


We have been lied to and told our name is all we got, its everything. So we must protect it at all costs.


I say NOOO!!!!


It is NOT up to us to create (or maintain) a good name.


God promises if we do what is right IN HIS EYES, that HE will MAKE OUR NAMES GREAT.


Now the problem with this is that most people want fame, notoriety, a fantabulous reputation and what has been sold off as prosperity…IN THIS LIFE.


I want you to look at a biblical example of God making somebody’s name GREAT…yet it did not happen until after he left here!


Abraham is often called the father of many nations. God had great plans for Abraham. He had a covenant with Abraham.


God promised Abraham to make his name great, yet Abraham had some things going on with him….I want you to notice some things about Abraham.


Abraham didnt have a marketing team to control and manipulate his image. Abraham didn’t have consultants that advised him to do A or B. Abraham didn’t have to buy off anyone, neither did he have to sin to perform the will of God.


Abraham didn’t have a squeaky clean record. Yet God still kept the promises that He did to him.


Abraham lied to not one but TWO kings (Pharaoh and Abimelech) about the identity of Sara, his wife. He told them she was his sister instead of his wife. (Genesis 12 and 20)


Abraham had mad family strife. In Genesis 13, Abraham and Lot had to part ways because they just couldn’t see eye to eye on things. It got so bad that Abraham had to take one section of land and settle there and Lot had to take the exact opposite section of land…they HAD to separate in order to keep the peace. (Genesis 13)


Abraham had MANY concubines (Papa was a rolling stone!) And MANY children by these concubines. Hagar and Ishmael are the most popular ones we know about because they were the first. But the Word states that Abraham had MANY concubines and subsequent children in Genesis 25 (he was a deadbeat dad!) And he sent them ALL off-just like he did Hagar and Ishmael-when he was ‘done’ with them!


Abraham committed adultery…over and over and over again. With Hagar (Genesis 16 & 21) and many concubines.


Abraham had incest in the family. Lot’s daughters slept with Lot and both were impregnated by their own father. (Genesis 19)


As we can see, Abraham had a really BAD reputation. Yet God promised him to make his name GREAT!


What??????


How can that be? Aren’t we supposed make our own name good, since the Word says a good name is preferred over many riches?


Why would God promise an adulterer, a deadbeat dad, a whoremonger, a liar, I would say a borderline sex addict (he had to be to have that many concubines!)…why would God make ANY promises to him? Let alone, the promise to become the father of many nations and to make his name great??????


I thought WE had control over our reputations? I thought our marketing teams, our clever marketing and image consultants, our assortment of makeover experts, our keen and saavy know-how of how to successfully project a (religious and spiritual) image to a group of people and influence them to do whatever you desire was what made our name great???? And saved souls???


Can you see how prideful and presumptious that sounds??????


The awesome thing is that in spite of Abraham’s lapses in character, in spite of his family issues, in spite of his lack of faith and fear, God STILL made his name GREAT!


It is NOT up to US to make our names GREAT. It is totally up to GOD!


When we do what God has told us to do, then GOD will do the rest.


STOP trying to work something up to protect your ‘image.’


When you look in the mirror, you shouldn’t see YOU anymore anyways.


You should see CHRIST IN YOU, the HOPE of GLORY!


When people see you, they should see CHRIST JESUS!!!!


What’s in a name??????


Acts 4:12

Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved.


The ONLY name worth ANYTHING in this life or the next-for ALL ETERNITY- is the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth!!!!!


There is no need for ‘reputation management’ when it comes to Jesus Christ!


Philippians 2:7

But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men…


Even though Jesus Christ of Nazareth was God in the flesh, and was therefore equal to God (according to vs. 6), He humbled Himself and MADE HIMSELF OF NO REPUTATION!


He could have gotten the best rep EVER! But instead, He chose to become nothing…to become a servant. And gave His life as a ransom for many.


So where is this coming from, this trend towards have a marketing team, image consultants and the such within the so-called church????


We are to be in the image of God, not man.


Whenever we try to form an image outside of God, we are dabbling into pride, vanity and idolatry. ALL of which is against GOD.


Let’s stop falling into the hands of the enemy by falling for the trap of trying to make a name for ourselves.


In the end times that we currently live in, there are many false christs that are risen up, and many of them have marketing teams, image consultants, makeup and makeover specialists, hairstylists, etc. on their ‘staff.’


Who in the WORLD do they think they are?????


Did you die on the cross for humanity?


Were you tortured, humiliated and persecuted before throngs of men who were supposed to worship you?


Are you sinless, guiltless and without reproach?


If not, then fire your ‘staff.’


LET GOD MAKE UR NAME GREAT!


Letting God make your name great may mean you don’t see the actual greatness of your name in your own lifetime, as Abraham did not live to see how his name would be made great.


But if you trust God and love God MORE than your image, MORE than you ambitious nature to want to ‘make it’ in THIS life, MORE than you trying to impress your ministerial fellowship, comrades and associates, MORE than trying to make the Joneses believe you got it going on, MORE THAN ANYTHING, then GOD CAN AND WILL MAKE YOUR NAME GREAT!!!!! FOR ETERNITY…where it matters!

Deliverance Gone TERRIBLY Wrong!

Every now and then, I come across a story so profoundly disturbing (re: deliverance), that I have to share it.  

I will preface this with the fact that we all NEED to understand that deliverance ministry and the ministry of casting out of demons (AS it has been taught in mainstream religion and church) has gone TERRIBLY wrong...and is not only ineffective...but in some cases DEADLY and DANGEROUS!

Earlier this year, Daphne Spurlock, a christian mother, slit her 5 year old son Michael's throat and cut his face, then stomped on his chest-crushing his chest cavity.  WHY? 

She was trying to perform deliverance on Michael.  She was ridding him of his demons!

http://abclocal.go.com/ktrk/story?section=news/local&id=8702011

Relatives of Daphne noticed that she started acting really strange after she accepted her religion and attending church.

http://www.khou.com/news/crime/Relatives-Woman-who-allegedly-slashed-her-childs-throat-was-obsessed-with-religion-143397686.html

The following is a link to Daphne's Facebook page.  I want you to notice all the scriptures and scripture pictures she posted on her wall.  As a matter of fact, that's ALL she posted on her page!

http://www.facebook.com/daphne.spurlock?fref=ts

After little Michael was placed in a medically-induced coma so he can heal from his injuries....and months of physical therapy, he survived his mother's vicious attack and was placed in the custody of his older sister.

http://www.myfoxhouston.com/story/19325361/2012/08/20/5-year-old-boy-walking-talking-after-vicious-attack-cps-says

Daphne attended Magnolic Apostolic Tabernacle in Magnolia, Texas.  This was a pentecostal/apostolic church, much like one of the pentecostal churches I used to attend.  They spoke in tongues, laid hands on folks, conducted deliverance.  Look at their banner from the church's website:

Leading families?  In the RIGHT direction?????????

I was tempted to contact the pastor of this church to follow up on this, but then changed my mind.  Smh.

I know this is as disturbing and nauseating a story as one can be...but I want to direct your attention to THE TELLTALE signs of the religious demon/spirit in operation here.

First of all, when you come across someone with a 'holier-than-thou' social network page, they are not well-rounded, they only post scriptures and religious sayings, they don't share their humanity, or the reality of their everyday lives, BEWARE!!!!!!!!  RELIGIOUS DEMON IN OPERATION!!!!!!!!

This woman may have meant well at first.  She may have perceived herself as a christian mother, raising a christian family.  But she became grossly delusional and deceived.  

Remember, I have shared with you that ANYONE can be deceived.  

Those who don't think they can be deceived are ALREADY deceived!

At some point, probably after going to that apostolic altar, Daphne (and probably her poor children, too) picked up religious demons.  

That's when she started acting strange.

Daphne noticed her children acting 'strange.'  She probably in her folly thought she was doing all she can do to help her children (before she did what she did).  I have noticed that children in the church are the sneakiest, most manipulative, most rebellious children of them all.  I have always wondered why this was the case...we have ALL heard the saying 'preachers' kids are the baddest kids.'

Well, after researching this, I am finding that that is the case because most kids raised in church pick up religious demons early in life....and those religious demons torment the children.  The torment manifests as disobedience, rebellion, odd behaviors, learning disabilities (in most kids).  

Parents get overwhelmed because they believe that because they go to church and their children go to church, that that means they and their children are not supposed to deal with these types of maladies...and that if they do deliverance on these kids and perhaps themselves that will end the torment.

DELIVERANCE GONE TERRIBLY WRONG!!!!!

All that ends up taking place is that the situations are made worse.  AS LONG AS YOU TAKE THE BABIES TO CHURCH AND ALLOW RELIGIOUS DEMONS TO MINISTER TO THEM, they will stay tormented.

Think about it.  

Why is it that when you take your babies to church, they cry and holler more so than when they are at home?

Why is it that your children get sicker after being prayed for by these 'men and women of God?'

Watch your children.  

I know that we have been conditioned that taking our children to church is supposed to help them.  But I am here to tell you IT DOES NOT.  

Look at little Michael:

The religious demons operating and tormenting this whole family escalated to this horrific crime!  

TRUE deliverance is available ONLY IN CHRIST JESUS OF NAZARETH!!!!!!  NOT religion or church!!!!!!!!

STOP LETTING THESE PREACHERS LAY HANDS ON YOU AND YOUR BABIES!!!!!!!

Fox News Host Says Domestic Violence Victim May Be To Blame For Own Demise

Dana Perino-former White House Press Secretary who now hosts Fox show 'The Five'-makes a very controversial comment at the end of the above video in a discussion about the NFL Linebacker Belcher/Perkins' Murder/Suicide:

PERINO:  I think it skirts the issue that women are victims of violence all the time--

CO-HOST:  They should have guns!

PERINO:  Well, maybe, or make better decisions...

There are some people that are taking serious issue with her statement, claiming that she is blaming the victim.  There are some who are concerned that the whole focus on Belcher as a victim of a history of head injuries incurred as an NFL linebacker, as well as someone who had to take many pain medications in treatment of those injuries..they are concerned that all of that is overshadowing the senseless murder of a young woman....in front of his mother nonetheless!

I totally agree with what Perino says here about women taking responsibility for making BETTER CHOICES as it pertains to relationships.

In an attempt to advocate for women/children who are abused, society has now created this culture that actually enables people to STAY victims.  It helps a woman to make poor choices, promising subsidy or some form of way of escape for a woman who just haphazardly enters into a relationship with a man.

LADIES, LISTEN.

ESPECIALLY in the church/religious culture, this culture will enable you to enter into and sustain relationships with men who are NOT well.  And for whatever reason, when a woman finds out the men she loves is not well, instead of getting out of dodge-or recognizing the signs early on-a woman will decide to stick it out with a psycho.  YES, I SAID A PSYCHO!

THAT, MY DEAR, IS A POOR CHOICE!!!!!!!!

That is NOT love, nor commitment, nor standing by your man.  THAT is NOT a sign of strength when you decide to stick with a man who you have seen early on has ISSUES.  But you stay with him because he's your baby's daddy, or he knows how to make you holler in bed, or he pays the bills!
One of the sure fire ways you keep a victim a victim is to take their ability to make WISE CHOICES away from them.  It is to keep them blaming the other parties for what they do.  

The truth of the matter is someone who stays in an abusive relationship is JUST AS SICK as the abuser!!!!!!!!!

What we as a society have to teach our ladies is that it is ok to make a mistake, and WALK AWAY from a mistake.  Learn from it and MOVE ON!  

We have to teach ladies HOW to make WISE choices!

The only way I know to make wise choices is to be INFORMED!  Don't walk into ANY RELATIONSHIP not knowing who you are getting involved with.  Find out their past.  Learn as much as you can about their families.  Do a background check.  

Don't be in such a rush to be in a relationship that you just rush in.

Don't be so quick to open your legs.  Sex for a woman is a powerful thing...and will keep her more wanting a no good man than any other factor.  That...and how much money he makes.

This young lady saw a chance to have something.  I'm sure she saw the signs that Belcher was not well.  But she opened her legs, got pregnant.  Then she realized she was in for trouble, which is why the relationship started going sour.  

Its hard to place blame on the victim...but the victim in these situations are almost always partly to blame.  

They unconciously attract the wrong type of men into their lives.  Then they mistakenly do whatever they can to stay with him.  

The following are signs that you have a potential abuser on your hands:

• Angry: Swears all the time; road rage; outbursts towards relatives, co-workers, etc.
• Jealous Behavior: Jealous of anyone in your life; thinks you are always cheating on him; jealous of your success
• Possessive Behavior: he wants all your attention; threatened by other obligations/relationships in your life
• Controlling Behavior: doesn't want you to have other relationships; controls every aspect of your life-or attempts to; sets himself up to be your savior
• Violent Behavior: hitting walls, throwing things, attacks on other people and/or pets
• Addictive Behaviors:  Those who have addictions almost always end up being abusive. Smoking pot or drinking with a man on a continual basis is a recipe for disaster!
• Doesn't take responsibility for his own mistakes; plays the blame game...a lot
• They always feel like someone owes them something; they will have emotional or angry outbursts if they don't get their way....an adult temper tantrum, basically

A GREAT article that every woman should read is "Are You Dating An Abuser?"

The above traits I listed are behaviors I have seen firsthand in relationships I have had in the past with abusive men.  I can honestly say...I MADE BAD CHOICES when picking each of my abusers.  Some of life's lessons come very hard.  I blame no one for my mistakes.  But I learn from them...and hope YOU will learn, too, from my mistakes.  

Nowadays, an abuser can mask abusive tendencies VERY well...from relatives, co-workers, church, fellow clergymen (in the case of preachers abusing their wives), the legal system, etc.  This is why we see a tendency for more and more first time abusers who just outright killed their wife/girlfriend....the abuser had been able to fool everyone around them-including the victim-and it didn't come out until someone killed someone.

It is imperative that we INFORM as many as possible of the signs of an abusive person.  THIS WAY people can make BETTER CHOICES, empowered to set boundaries and, if necessary, WALK AWAY from anyone who doesn't treat or love in a healthy, mature way.

Also, years back, I wrote a blog for women who are looking for a way out of an abusive relationship.  It is a bit long...but I think it may be worth your time.

http://detoxedfromchurchanity4real.blogspot.com/2006_10_01_archive.html

Instead of jumping down Perino's throat, I think she is to be commended for making a BOLD, TRUE statement.  

KUDOS to you, Dana Perino!

Watching Christian TV Is Just As Dangerous As Church!

Now that you have come out of the church, you find that you are still 'searching,' looking for a word to get you through the week.

So you sit in your recliner and press 'POWER;' the telly comes on and you surf the channels til you find a channel that can give you 'a word.'

Plenty of people do that, innocently enough, because they feel a spiritual void that has been left open because they no longer attend a church where they are spoon fed lies, error and spiritual poison.

I used to do it, too.

But in the past five years or so-even before I left the church, I started to notice a trend on christian television.

The most popular doctrine(s) all began to focus on life in the here and now.  Many preachers left the topic of salvation alone, and ventured off into strange teachings about prosperity, destiny, spiritual warfare and the such.

And while I am all for things of the Spirit, it was a little too strange even for the likes of me.  The Spirit of God began to show me the error in some of the most popular TV preachers.

You have to be a lover of TRUTH in order to listen to what the Spirit of God has to say regarding a situation, a person or anything or anyone.  And when He tells you it is error and to leave it alone, to discard it, to consider it dung, then THAT'S what needs to done!

I have concluded most preachers dont broach the subject of salvation because they are not saved and so they cannot preach or teach on something they have NOT experienced themselves.  Many do not know how to rightfully divide the Word of Truth, so many are led astray.  Why?

Most of all what's taught on so-called 'Christian TV' is a direct result of supply & demand.  The fact of the matter is if the general public demands to see television programming that appeals to their flesh and neglects the subject of salvation and PROPER deliverance, then that is what these TV programmers are going to give them.  WHAT THEY WANT TO HEAR!

But watching christian television nowadays can do much more damage to you than if you were to sit in a church!

How?

In order for a religious demon - or ANY demon-to be able to take over your will, you got to be in an altered state of consciousness.  You have to be semi-catatonic, sort of like in a trance.  The whole act of even WATCHING television can leave a person semi-hypnotic.  When one cannot go to sleep, what do they do?  They turn on the TELEVISION!

That state where you are not quite asleep but not quite awake is the state where the enemy can come in without you even knowing it.  All types of suggestions and thoughts can be programmed into your psyche.

NOW...

Add to that CHRISTIAN programming, and you have the ability to put to sleep even MORE masses of people who may recognize the error of the organized church system, BUT have not come to understand that MODERN DAY CHRISTIAN PROGRAMMING is an endtime setup of the enemy to program millions of people into false conversions, false deliverances, fake salvations, deceiving many into believing they have received something when, in fact, they HAVE NOT!

So THATS how I can boldly say that WATCHING CHRISTIAN TV IS JUST AS DANGEROUS-EVEN MORESO-THAN GOING TO CHURCH!

YOU SHOULD AVOID ANY AND ALL CHRISTIAN PROGRAMMING ON TV.